Magic Number Machine RAQ

What is that "·" symbol?

That's an implicit multiplication. You've entered two numbers into the expression and haven't used anything to separate them. The program has assumed you want to multiply them. The symbol is used to remind you what is happening.

i.e. 5sin90 gets turned into 5 · sin90 so that you know that sin and 90 go together and the 5 is multiplied by the result.

To combine the numbers in a different way, enter a different operator between numbers.

i.e. 5 + sin90

This operator is also used if you include multiple results from the "Data" drawers.

You say this program contains bugs. What do you mean by that?


This program contains bugs, maybe even big nasty ones, uglier than cockroaches. Things that could happen as a result of using this program:
  • it could invite other programs over for a party and not clean up the mess
  • it could pass messages to the kernel that contain lewd caricatures of you
  • it could sign you up for spam
  • it could use up all the number 2's on your computer so that you have to start using backwards 5's.
If you experience anything better, consider it a blessing.

What kind of name is Magic Number Machine for a calculator?

Consider the name SGI gave their calculator: SciCalc. Then there was Steven Constenoble's Mac OS 7-9 calculator, SciCalc. Brent Jenkins made a calculator for the Palm OS called SciCalc. There's even a few hundred online javascript calculators called SciCalc. I even wrote a calculator for Mac OS X beta (and subsequently updated it for X 10.1) called... wait for it... SciCalc.

Sure there are some more interesting names: pCalc, MooseCalc, KoalaCalc, MPCalc, etc. The list goes on. I got "Calc" overload.

Instead I turned to the wicked, pagan-sorcery side of arithmetic, creating a device of purely mystical design? Sure, why not. Actually, it's a misheard quote from my childhood (--"I'll trade you three hills and a mountain for this Magic Number Machine." -- "Ooooh.").

Your calculator doesn't have [insert feature I don't care about here].

You didn't word your statement in the form of a question. I didn't go through milliseconds of hardship typing a "Q" in the title of this page for no reason.

All right, I'm feeling generous. I'll assume you meant to ask: "How do I get [insert feature I don't care about here] added?" or "Will you add [insert feature I don't care about here] for me?".

The short answers are: you code it yourself and I won't add it for you. The long answer is that if everyone asks for something and it doesn't seem like too much work, then I may add it.

Quick tip: a programmable calculator seems like too much work. You can add your own functions easily with only a little programming and there are other calculators that can do most of the rest (like the HP x48 simulator). A graphing calculator seems like even more work.

Still impatient? Try these:
  • MPCalc for really high precision, really quickly
  • MooseCalc for dates and times and stuff
  • RPN Calculator for unit conversion and complex number stuff
  • Mathematica for everything plus a hole in your pocket (seriously: thanks to Wolfram Research for funding Eric Weisstein's ScienceWorld – Magic Number Machine would suck without MathWorld's help).
I can't program, can you help me?

Yes I can, but I won't. Programming is something really hard to teach. It takes years to do well. I will only have time to give minor assistance to would-be developers.

When I press the "Clear" key on my keyboard, nothing happens. What's wrong?

Nothing is wrong. Your "Clear" key is operating within normal parameters. To have it clear the current value, you will need a piece of wood roughly 47 centimetres long and some glue. Glue the wood to your "Clear" key and to your "Esc" key. When the glue dries, pressing the "Clear" key should clear the current value.

If I type 5318008 on my Casio calculator and turn it upside down it spells BOOBIES. If I use Magic Number Machine and turn my monitor upside down, I hear a popping sound and the screen goes black. Can you help?

Find a computer where the monitor isn't permanently ruined and try 184594917 in decimal before putting the calculator in hexadecimal mode.

What with all the "reality" television nowadays?

I know! I don't know what the networks consider to be "real" but most of those people are way too attractive.

Of course, networks like "reality" TV because it's cheap and the same 10% of people who watch one "reality" show will watch them all -- resulting in reliable ratings. Everyone else gets their cheap porn on the 'net instead and dreams whistfully of a time when a "script" was something given to the "actors", not followed by the publicists.

Actually, I have an idea for a "reality" show... it's about a programmer who pitches an idea for a "reality" TV show to a group of network executives. They give him $1 million prize-money for no reason at all and he gives them the finger. We could draw the whole thing out to 13 episodes with long ad-breaks and fire-side chats that repeat things that just happened.

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